God first?

Since 2000, I haven't been that excited about God/Jesus. There was a time in my life that I was so focus on following Jesus. Now? I'm so focused on running and running faster. I find myself reading about running, listening to podcasts about running, thinking about running, and of course actually running. I'm still trying to figure out why I'm not that excited about Jesus like I do about running. I was a bit traumatized and disappointed when I went to China in 2000. I know that's part of it and I also know how I am. If I can't do something all out, then I don't really bother or I do it half heartedly, almost to the point of why even bother.

The past few months I've been thinking more and more about what it means to put God first? What does it mean to be a Christian? What does it mean to glorify and praise God? What does a life as a Christian look like? I'm not sure I can answer that for myself. I've lost the passion on trying to follow Jesus. Or maybe I'm not sure what it means to follow him? Can you have multiple passions in your life simultaneously? I'm not sure. I'm not sure I can give 100% to multiple "things."

Five years prior, I did have a skewed view of Christianity. I think in some ways I'm better off than 5 years ago, but in other ways I feel I've lost a lot. I thought Christians should be minimalist, frugal, austere. It was a hard lesson, but I learned my view of Christianity was off. There are so many ways of how people live out their life of following Jesus. I'm still confused and struggling with all of this, hence the questions above. How I live it out, I'm still figuring it out or maybe it changes like the seasons in your life.